I love you...Hiyo

Oh friends, July 21st at approximately 8am was a real game changer. Jaime and I shower affection on Piper in all ways possible - him with an almost unbearable amount of kissing and hugging, me with slightly less physical affection, but equal fervor behind my snuggles. We've told her we love her approximately 400 times a day since she was in utero and I'd say 5-10% of the time, she'll reward us with a mumbled and delayed, "I uv you doo." We live for those responses. We call to each other if we hear it - showing off that she said it to me and not you. In fact, we're pretty ruthless about it. Despite the fact that I'm her primary caregiver - and on this Jaime would agree, although calling him an "involved dad" is akin to calling Napoleon a "little ambitious" - she has always responded to Jaime's "I love yous" more often, much to my chagrin. Evidently feeding, bathing, schlepping, reading, Dora-ing, interpreting, dressing, comforting and generally being all things slave are not enough for Piper to throw me a bone. But I digress. On Wednesday morning, as we departed for school, Piper began her ritual of saying bye-bye to our dogs. It's a long process, one that is tolerated, but I suspect not entirely enjoyed by Obi, Leo (Hiyo) and JuJu. JuJu is put in a crate before we leave and Piper very much enjoys being her gatekeeper and slamming the door on her while saying goodbye. Obi, since receiving his summer shave, has spiraled into a deep hole of humiliation (with good reason, he looks like an idiot), so he hides under the bed most mornings. (As an aside, this has just started in the last few weeks and has led to countless discussions about "Obi hiding" between Piper and us and strangers, really anyone who she encounters learns that "Obi hiding," including a really comedic exchange with our elderly neighbor). Anyhoo, with those 2 dispatched, Piper has taken to really lavishing her bye-bye attention on Hiyo. He's cute, as you can see above, and a pretty hilarious dog. He's lazy and slow and easily the worst behaved, most diabolically clever dog I've known. He's part goat who literally ate an entire CAN of Coke (not the contents, the CAN) as well as a package of razorblades without skipping a beat. So, he's lovable, I'll admit it, but Piper...well, she went too far. She hugged him, said bye-bye, hugged him again, made it halfway out of the door, told me to wait, hugged him again and then...you guessed it, said very clearly, "I love you, Hiyo." Much like George Costanza on Seinfeld, her first self-initiated "I love you" was to a dog, who like George's unrequited love-dog, responded by licking himself. I whipped around and said, "Piper, what did you just say???" and she clearly said again, "I love Hiyo" and marched merrily out the door. I stood there, stunned and hurt, really pretty horrified and she called, "Mommy, car" as a reminder that it was my job to carry all her crap and her into the car with no thanks, forget "I love yous." I tried it, god forgive me, I know I was setting myself up for heartache, but I said "Piper, I love you. Do you love mommy?" and she responded "No, Hiyo...Mommy CAR." I looked at Hiyo, who had by now moved on from licking himself to eyeing all the dishes in the sink for when I shut the door and tried to understand what he's got that I don't got. I welcome input, but be gentle, I'm still recovering.