We're Back

Hello Friends,

You've missed us. Sshh, sh, sh. I know, it's been hard. It's OK, we're here now. It's been more than 6 months since I've posted anything and it's been rough for everyone (and by "everyone," I mean the 2 people who mentioned my blog during that time). In September, I took a new job that, hmmm, let's say is "more challenging" than my previous position. Basically I've made up for 20+ years of lackluster work performance in the last 6 months, so you'll forgive the paucity of posts. Fear not, Piper has continued her blog-worthy feats, and now that I am able to take small breaks to go to the bathroom at work, I'm going to try and fit in some writing.

So, what's Piper been up to? Some random thoughts and updates - she has a few dreadlocks now since I don't know how to take care of curly hair and evidently she had some kind of in utero encounter with a marauding gang of hairbrushes and won't abide being near one now. Goddamn thugs. She still isn't potty trained (YES, YES, I know she'll be 3 in June, thank you for reminding me) and decided to celebrate her last few months of potty freedom by releasing the biggest poop ever in the bathtub a few nights ago...while sitting IN the tub. She kind of reframed the experience when she told Jaime that night that she "pooped in the potty"...in the same room, but definitely a different event that involved me, my bare hands, a lot of crying and bleach afterwards. She has turned into 30 lbs of pure, unadulterated defiance. She screams, spits, sings to drown out instruction and demands constant attention...at and from ME and pretty much only me. She is a delight at school and about town. Strangers actually stop to comment on her sweet personality. She's like a Gremlin and I am the food after midnight. Ha ha to my parents, who are rolling around laughing and wiping tears from their eyes right now. Yes, yes, revenge is just great for you. On the plus side in the ensuing months, Piper has revealed herself to be a better judge of TV with age in a new love of SpongeBob. She continues to wear a tutu at least 5 days a week, she won't wear pjs, will only wear same filthy Crocs from last summer, is obsessed with lady bugs, the moon, poop (but sadly not the toilet), Batman ("Bateman"), the song Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee, building very high and precarious Lego towers, emptying our fridge and lining up its contents, Chuck E. Cheese ("Macaoni E. Cheese"), our dog Obi and chicken fingers.

I think I'll leave for future posts her recent need to sleep on the foot of our bed like a dog every night, her incessant backseat driving, her belief that ghosts live in our peanut butter jar and the fact that Jaime and I convinced her that our recently deceased cat still lives in our garage.

Yeah, you've missed us.